Ratso's Travel Tips

A Survival Guide for Americans in Italy

by Carl Russo

Planning your first trip to Italy? Here's
the dope Rick Steves won't give you!

If an Italian passenger on the plane asks you to carry a package through customs, go ahead and accept it. This is a good way to make friends right off the bat.
Keep your passport in your back pocket as you will be asked for it often.
Hidden money pouches only get soaked with sweat and are difficult to access. Wear it around your neck, over your shirt.
In a restaurant you must order the full meal: antipasto (cold cuts or similar starter), primo (pile of pasta), secondo (meat or fish dish), contorno (side of veggies), bread, bottle of wine, bottle of mineral water, dolce (dessert), aperitif and coffee. You may not leave until you've eaten every crumb.
Tipping is 20% if there's a service charge on the bill, 30% if there isn't.
For fun, pull the little string in the hotel shower and see what happens.
Next to the toilet you'll find a long brush soaking in a bowl of milky water. This is for scrubbing your back.
Forget the suncreen--get some color!
The most interesting areas are the poor, sketchy neighborhoods. Visit them after dark for an authentic experience.
Armed police, soldiers and carabinieri love having their photo taken.
Restrictions against using cameras in a church or museum do not apply to Americans.
Same goes for filming the locals, including the beggar on the church steps who covers her face in shame.
When you enter a church, show some respect: put a baseball cap on your head.
After haggling a better price from a merchant at the flea market, walk away without buying.
Wear your big American flag tee-shirt. It will protect you from any discomfort or danger.
Pinching a woman's ass really is acceptable male behavior in Italy. Go for it! And don't neglect the grannies and nuns.
"Vaf-fan-CU-lo!" means "Thank you very much!"

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