DJ Cheat Sheet No. 14


Songs About Television


Now it can be told! For two short months I was a TV salesman at the slimiest electronics chain of them all: Circuit City (a.k.a. Circum City: "We snip prices!"). I was recruited by my insane friend and drinking buddy Dan with whom I had worked at a similar operation.

Dan was 15 years my senior, voted Republican (but was really an anarchist in a Bugs Bunny way), and was itching to have me join him on the sales floor for some retail pranks. We soon discovered that all the demo televisions were wired to a master VCR. So he had me rent a juicy porno flick and, well, you can guess the rest…

  1. ADVERTS -- Television’s Over
  2. A-HA -- The Sun Always Shines on TV (Thanks Elliott Schiff!)
  3. AJB -- Play Me on the Television
  4. AKERS, KAREN -- You Can Have the TV
  5. ALEXANDER, WILLIE -- TV
  6. ALKATRAZZ -- God Blessed Video
  7. AMERICAN MUSIC CLUB -- Mom’s TV
  8. ANDERSON, IAN -- Black & White Television
  9. ANDERSON, JIMMY -- Goin’ Crazy Over TV
  10. ANIMANIACS -- Video Revue
  11. ARNO -- I Sold My Soul on MTV
  12. ATLANTA RHYTHM SECTION -- Child of the Video Age
  13. ATLANTICS -- Television Girl
  14. ATOMIC 7 -- TV
  15. BAD EXAMPLES -- Secret of Television
  16. BAD RELIGION -- Television
  17. BALANCING ACT -- A TV Guide in the Olduvai Gorge
  18. B.A.L.L. -- My TV is Broke
  19. BALL, TOM, & SULTAN, KENNY -- Television
  20. BARE, BOBBY -- Drinkin’ and Druggin’ and Watchin’ TV
  21. BASIA -- Prime Time TV
  22. BASEHEAD -- Commercial Break
  23. BAXTER -- Television
  24. BECK -- MTV Makes Me Wanna Smoke Crack
  25. BEGA, LOU -- Beauty on the TV Screen
  26. BEN FOLDS FIVE -- Video
  27. BERLINE, BYRON, & FRIENDS -- They Don’t Play George Jones on MTV
  28. BEVIS FROND -- Raining on TV
  29. BLACK FLAG -- TV Party
  30. BLACK SABBATH -- TV Crimes
  31. BLINK 182 -- TV
  32. BLUR -- Coffee and TV/Commercial Break
  33. BOBS -- Kill Your Television
  34. BOOM CRASH OPERA -- Bad Television
  35. BOW WOW WOW -- (I’m a) TV Savage
  36. BUGGLES -- On TV/Video Killed the Radio Star
  37. BUSH -- Broken TV
  38. BUTTHOLE SURFERS -- TV Star
  39. BUZZKILL -- Video
  40. CALE, JOHN -- Legs Larry at Television Centre
  41. CAN -- TV Spot
  42. CANADIAN BRASS CHAMPIONS -- Video Brass
  43. CARTOONS -- Aisy Waisy Video
  44. CELIBATE RIFLES -- Jesus on TV
  45. CHAPPELL, JIM, & HEARSAY -- Television
  46. CHEAP TRICK -- Ballad of TV Violence
  47. CHEECH & CHONG -- Television
  48. CHOCOLATE MILK -- Video Queen
  49. CHROMA KEY -- America the Video
  50. CHROME -- TV as Eyes (Thanks David Ladd!)
  51. CHUMBAWUMBA -- Commercial Break/How to Get Your Band on Television
  52. CLOWER, JERRY -- Conn Huntin’ on TV
  53. C-MURDER -- Commercial
  54. COALITION OF UNIFIED MEN -- Kman Broadcast Network
  55. COLON, WILLIE, & BLADES, RUBEN -- Talento de Televisione
  56. CORONER -- Last Entertainment (TV Bizarre)
  57. COSTELLO, ELVIS -- Watching the Detectives (Thanks Adam Zar!)
  58. CRAMPS -- TV Set
  59. CREAMERS -- Mom Watches T.V.
  60. CRENSHAW, MARSHALL -- Television Light
  61. CROWDED HOUSE -- My Telly’s Gone Bung
  62. CUCUMBERS -- Don't Watch TV
  63. DEAD KENNEDYS -- A Commercial/MTV Off the Air
  64. DICTATORS -- Channel Surfing (Thanks Adam Zar!)
  65. DIRE STRAITS -- Money for Nothing (Thanks Adam Zar!)
  66. DISCOUNT -- T.V. Kiss
  67. DISPOSABLE HEROES OF HIPHOPRISY -- Television the Drug of the Nation
  68. DJ CASH MONEY -- Commercial
  69. DJ ROB SWIFT -- Age of Television
  70. DOLBY, THOMAS -- May the Cube Be With You (Thanks Amado!)
  71. DOUGLAS, JERRY -- TV Doctor
  72. DR. JOHN -- Television
  73. DUHL, AMON -- Telly Vision
  74. EBN OZN -- The Video D.J.
  75. EDMUNDS, DAVE -- Television
  76. EIGHT FROZEN MODULES -- Television Birds
  77. EL LASSO -- Supermarket, Television, Home
  78. ELEKTRIC MUSIC -- TV
  79. ELIANA -- Bern Juntinho Da TV
  80. ELVIRA -- 3-D TV
  81. EVEN STEVENS -- She’s in the Toothpaste Commercial
  82. EYE TV -- Eye TV
  83. FARRELL & FARRELL -- Captain Video
  84. FAUST -- I've Got My Car and My TV (Thanks David Ladd!)
  85. FINGERETT, SALLY -- TV Talk
  86. FINK/MARXER -- 50 Things That I Can Do Instead of Watch TV
  87. FIRESIGN THEATER -- Compulsary News
  88. FLOSSIE & THE UNICORNS -- Ghost TV
  89. FLYING LIZARDS -- TV (Thanks Paic Krause!)
  90. F.M. KNIVES -- T.V. Light
  91. FOGERTY, JOHN -- I Saw it on TV
  92. FOWLEY, KIM -- Sex on Television
  93. FRANTICS FOUR -- TV Mama
  94. FREAK NASTY -- Commercial
  95. FREEHEAD -- Two TVs
  96. FRODUS -- Deviant Recovery Network
  97. FRONT 242 -- Television Station
  98. FROST, JACK -- Birdowner (As Seen on TV)
  99. FULSON, LOWELL -- Television Blues
  100. GANG OF FOUR -- Colour from the Tube
  101. GARCIA, CHARLY -- Ojos de Video Tape
  102. GETZ/HAIG -- Be Still, TV
  103. GOATS -- TV Cops
  104. GOB -- Asshole TV
  105. GOODFELLAS -- T.V. Song
  106. GREEN DAY -- I Wanna Be on TV
  107. GRIZZARD, LEWIS -- It’s Always Midnight on My VCR/Television
  108. GROENEMEYER, HERBERT -- Video
  109. GRUPO SENTINELA -- Galan de Television
  110. GTOs -- TV Life
  111. HAGGARD -- TV + Pacification
  112. HARPO -- Television
  113. HARRIS, EDDIE -- Space Commercial
  114. HAWKWIND -- TV Suicide
  115. HEAD & LEG -- The All-Pain Network
  116. HEADS -- Television
  117. HEGLEY, JOHN, & THE POLITICIANS -- I Saw My Dinner on TV
  118. HERON, GIL-SCOTT – The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (Thanks Adam Zar!)
  119. HINE, RUPERT -- The Saturation of the Video Rat
  120. HOODOO GURUS -- Television Addict
  121. HOUSE OF PAIN -- Commercial 1/Commercial 2
  122. HUNGRY, BUZZ -- The Beer Commercial
  123. HUNK -- TV Moon
  124. I.B.S. -- Eight Ball Commercial
  125. JACKSON, JOE -- T.V. Age
  126. JAMMIN’ UNIT -- Blind Television
  127. JAPAN -- Television
  128. JENKINS, SNUFFY -- Television
  129. JESUS & MARY CHAIN -- Commercial
  130. JOEL, BILLY -- Sleeping with the Television On
  131. JOHN, ELTON -- Theme from a Non-Existent TV Show
  132. JONES, RONNIE -- Video Games
  133. JOYKILLER -- Television
  134. KESSEL, BARNEY -- TV Commercials
  135. KING MISSILE -- The Commercial
  136. KMFDM -- Go to Hell (Fuck MTV Mix)
  137. KURSAAL FLYERS -- Television
  138. LA PEQUENA COMPANIA -- La Televsion
  139. LARKIN, PATTY -- Video
  140. LFO -- Girls on TV
  141. LOCKHEART, PAULA -- Carolina Rice Commercial
  142. LOPEZ, GEORGE -- Television
  143. LOS HERMANOS ROSARIO -- Video Clip
  144. LOS PARRENDEROS -- Huesera en Television
  145. LOWER EAST SIDE STITCHES -- TV Zoned Out
  146. MAC MALL -- Let’s Get a Telly
  147. MACHINE GUN - T.V. Tell Me
  148. MAGAZINE -- TV Baby
  149. MALACHI, CRUNCH -- This TV is Made for Watchin’
  150. MANKIND -- It’s Not TV, It’s Reality
  151. MANSON, MARILYN -- Television
  152. MANSUN -- Television
  153. MANZANERA, PHIL -- Slow Motion TV
  154. MASTERMIND -- Shopping on Television
  155. MATAMOROS, CONJUNTO -- Television
  156. MATERIAL ISSUE -- Color TV
  157. MAYALL, JOHN -- Television Eye
  158. MAYFIELD, PERCY -- TV
  159. McLEAN, DON -- Color TV Blues
  160. MECO -- Video Fever
  161. MEJA -- Pop & Television
  162. MINISTRY -- TV Song/TV II
  163. MINUTEMEN -- There Ain't Shit on TV
  164. MIRROR IMAGE -- Sleeping with the Television On
  165. MISFITS -- TV Casualty
  166. MOJO NIXON -- My TV is Watchin' Me
  167. MONSOON -- Third Eye and Tikka TV
  168. MOODY, JAMES -- The Television Song
  169. MOONDOG, JR. -- TV Song
  170. MOSS BROTHERS – TV Crisis
  171. MOVING TARGETS -- MTV
  172. MOXY FRUVOUS -- TV Bargainville
  173. MR. MISTER -- The Tube (Thanks Amado!)
  174. MR. SONIC -- Supermarket, Television, Home
  175. MURPHY, EDDIE -- TV
  176. MXPX -- Another Song About TV
  177. NAUGHTY BY NATURE -- Down wit MTV
  178. N’DOUR, YOUSEFF -- Live Television
  179. NED’S ATOMIC DUSTBIN -- Kill Your Television
  180. NEW ADVENTURES -- Watchin’ TV
  181. NEW RADIANT STORM KING -- Commercial
  182. 99 REASONS WHY -- Television
  183. NINJA DEATH SQUAD -- If I Don't Watch MTV Every Day (I Don't Feel Complete as a Human Being)
  184. NO REDEEMING SOCIAL VALUE --(I Wanna Be on) MTV, parts 1 & 2
  185. NOREAGA -- Banned from TV
  186. NORMALS -- TV OD
  187. OLSEN, KRISTINA -- Better than TV
  188. OVANS, TOM -- Real Television
  189. PAINA -- Video
  190. PELIGRO -- No TV Show
  191. PICTURE HOUSE -- Worldwide TV
  192. PLANT, ROBERT -- Network News
  193. POLLARD, ROBERT -- Prison Television
  194. POP, IGGY, & THE STOOGES -- TV Eye
  195. POWER TOOL -- What that Video
  196. PRAGER, HANDGRIFF -- TV Tod
  197. PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA -- Video Killed the Radio Star
  198. PROCOL HARUM -- TV Caesar
  199. PSYCHEFUNKAPUS -- Television People
  200. PUBLIC ENEMY -- She Watch Channel Zero (Thanks Adam Zar!)
  201. PULP -- TV Movies
  202. PUPO -- Che Pizza la TV
  203. Q., STACEY -- Video Girl
  204. QUORTHON -- Television
  205. RADIATORS -- Television Screen
  206. RAGOGNA, MIKE -- Television
  207. RAGSDALE, GEORGIA -- At the Video Store
  208. RARE EARTH -- Commercial Break
  209. REED, LOU -- Satellite of Love (Thanks Adam Frank!)/ Video Violence
  210. REENCUENTRO -- Rock en la TV
  211. REGISTRATORS -- T.V. Hell
  212. REPLACEMENTS -- Seen Your Video
  213. REVERSING HOUR -- Life without Television
  214. REVOLTING COCKS -- TV Mind
  215. ROLLINS, HENRY -- Television
  216. RUNDGREN, TODD -- TV is King
  217. SAINT ETIENNE -- Dutch TV
  218. SAY WHAT -- Video Babe
  219. SCHLEPROCK -- TV Dinner
  220. SCREECHING WEASEL -- Video
  221. SCUD MOUNTAIN BOYS -- Television
  222. SEBADOH -- Television Nitelife
  223. SEIDEL, KEVIN -- TV Land
  224. SENTRIDOH -- Commercial
  225. SHEEP ON DRUGS -- TV USA
  226. SHINDELL, RICHARD -- TV Light
  227. SIGUE SIGUE SPUTNIK -- 21st Century Boy (TV Messiah)
  228. SILKK THE SHOCKER -- Commercial One/Commercial Two
  229. SLOPPY SECONDS -- T.V. Party
  230. SMITH, CAL -- Between Lust and Watching TV
  231. SNYDER, TODD -- TV Guide
  232. SOCKO, JOHNNY -- Commercial
  233. SOUL ASYLUM -- Religiavision
  234. SPACE CADETS -- The People’s Network
  235. SPACEGHOST -- The TV
  236. SPEAKER -- TV
  237. SPEDDING, CHRIS -- Girl in the Video
  238. SPONGETUNES -- TV Talks
  239. SPRINGSTEEN, BRUCE -- 57 Channels (Thanks Dave Gladwood!)
  240. STABBING WESTWARD -- Television (Thanks Emmanuel "Izzy" Gambliel!)
  241. STARFISH -- MTV
  242. STATE OF THE NATION -- Commercial
  243. STOOGES -- TV Eye (Thanks Adam Frank!)
  244. STYLISTICS -- Star on a TV Show
  245. SUB ZERO -- Fuck MTV
  246. SUGARCUBES -- Dream TV
  247. SUNFIRE -- Video Queen
  248. SUNNY DAY REAL ESTATE -- Television
  249. SUPPLE -- Dead Television
  250. SUTTON, GLENN -- TV Preacher-Man Blues
  251. TALKING HEADS -- Television Man
  252. TANYA -- My Coloured TV Set
  253. TEAM DRESCH -- #1 Chance Pirate TV
  254. TEN HANDS -- I Was Confused (About the Television Set)
  255. 10,000 MANIACS -- Candy, Everybody Wants (Thanks Tom Robinson!)
  256. THINGY -- My Room Has a T.V.
  257. TIN MACHINE -- Video Crime
  258. TITANS -- TV Dreams
  259. TOKENS -- Commercial
  260. TOY DOLLS -- Commercial Break/I’m a Telly Addict
  261. TRANZ-X -- Lying on Video
  262. TRU -- Commercial
  263. 2 LIVE CREW -- Video No Soul
  264. TWO MAN ADVANTAGE -- Commercial Break
  265. TUBES -- TV is King
  266. TURNER, JOE -- TV Mama
  267. TVTV$ -- Like a TV
  268. TWILLEY, DWIGHT -- TV
  269. TWO DOLLAR GUITAR -- TV
  270. VEGA, ALAN -- Video Babe
  271. VERVE PIPE -- Television
  272. VIOLENT FEMMES -- I Hate the TV
  273. VOULZY, LAURENT -- Bungelow Video
  274. WADE -- Televsion
  275. WAINWRIGHT, SLOAN -- Poison Television
  276. WALTARI -- Color TV
  277. WARRIOR SOUL -- Television
  278. WASHINGTON, DINAH -- TV is the Thing
  279. WATERS, ROGER -- Watching TV
  280. WHITE, GLEN -- TV Laugh/TV Lover
  281. WHORGASM -- Tell Him to Get a Bigger TV
  282. WILLIAMS, JR., HANK -- Video Blues
  283. WINTER, JOHNNY -- TV Mamma
  284. WORLD ENTERTAINMENT WAR -- Televisionary
  285. YANKOVIC, WEIRD AL -- Cable TV/Frank’s 2000" TV
  286. YOUNG FRESH FELLOWS -- TV Dream
  287. YOUNG GODS -- T.V. Sky
  288. ZAPPA, FRANK -- I'm The Slime (Thanks Mookie!)/ Be in My Video
  289. ZZ TOP -- TV Dinners


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